That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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