TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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