Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
