tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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