He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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