so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
