Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
