Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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