I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
