You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I deserve this hangover.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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