Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
