Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
