glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
