thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
