We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
