i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
