i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize