Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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