Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
