we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
