I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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