You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
