Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize