I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
