its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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