I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
