if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
