I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
