So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
