You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
