this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
