White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
