About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
