i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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