I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
