just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
