i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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