Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He passed out mid-signature
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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