This girl is more easily done than said...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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