you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
