If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
