These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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