In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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