She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
