considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
