If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
