So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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