just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
