We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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