her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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