Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
it glows. i had to have it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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