help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
