Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So squirting runs in the family.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i think my cat just said my name.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
