This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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