well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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