Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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