Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
barbara walters just said penis...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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